We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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