I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
zippers are such a cool invention
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
