My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
