So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
