I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
