your parents love me but you hate me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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