Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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