what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
