i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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