please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I pour the whiskey from now on
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
