You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
