i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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