whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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