The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
