You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
