Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
