wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
