remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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