i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you never un-have a 4some
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
