I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
