Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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