So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
