I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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