I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
