As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
