roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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