TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
