if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
