I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
