weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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