he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
