we have pet lesbian snakes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
