I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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