dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
