i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
