I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
