I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
