why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize