oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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