the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
