That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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