My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
