Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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