You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
