youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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