to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
