can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
