sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
