Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
