3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your dad touched me again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
