i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
