At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
