we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
